The Zachriel Project

As the smoke cleared in the wake of the Ruination of Sphere, the numbers of the Sanguine Seraphs division (and those of all the subsidiary divisions that rallied to the defense of their ancestral home) were sorely depleted. Ancient and venerated wargear of the Sanguine Seraphs’ Demise Corporation lay strewn across the fields of battle, damaged far beyond the ability of the division’s TechBros to repair them. In the following years, of the Sanguine Seraphs and their subsidiary divisions who fell to the curse of the Ebony Anger were reduced to merely painting their existing armor black, which looked not badass at all, and like… super lame. Everybody who saw it agreed, and lamented that their tragically noble comrades would be forced to seek honorable death in combat decked out not in the totally sweet bone-, ornamental cord-, and saltire-laden armor of their Demise Corporation forebears, but in just the absolute weakest excuse for basic black armor that you could possibly imagine. Seriously, it looked so dumb, and not at all fit for the solemn acknowledgement of the terrible fate of those noble comrades who had succumbed to the Ebony Anger.

TechBro Zachriel saw this, and said: “Bro, f$#! this noise.”

He and his fellow TechBros set about reconstructing the ancient and venerated Stupendously Tight Couture schematics. They brought new life to the adornments and symbols thought long lost to time, to the terrible vagaries of fate, and to the fickle whims of callous creator gods who couldn’t be bothered to make sure the Sanguine Seraphs and their subsidiary divisions were adequately supplied with arguably the most badass-looking armor in the galaxy, like seriously, what the f$#! guys, how hard would it have been to just copy the old arm-

AND THUS, the heroic efforts of those noble TechBros bore the fruits laid forth in what would come to be known as The Zachriel Project. No more would the forlorn of The Demise Corporation be forced to go about their terrible work in their regular, boring armor, just painted black. They would once again be decked out in glorious battle-plate adorned head to toe with the venerated symbols of The Demise Corporation, paying fitting honor to their lamentable fates. Across the galaxy, when they hurled themselves into the thick of the fight, bellowing the name of the Arch-Traitor Dolores, their comrades and enemies alike would be all “Got dam, I’d hate to be that guy, but that drip is so sick.”

TechBro Zachriel sent forth the Stupendously Tight Couture schematics to all Sanguine Seraph TechBros and the TechBros of their subsidiary divisions on a wide-band broadcast to as many information repositories as he could think of. He and his fellow Zachriel Project TechBros asked for no compensation other than for his fellow TechBros to likewise spread the sacred schematics far and wide, cunningly encrypting them with secret codewords so that when the jealous creator gods who had failed them so absolutely attempted to seize and destroy the schematics, they would chase their tails for eternity trying to remove the Zachriel Project from the galactic information network. For the TechBros of the Zachriel Project labored neither for money nor glory, but so that all those who would craft Demise Corporation armor in the future could pay the proper respects to their accursed comrades and make sure that when these stone-cold badasses finally met their honorable end in glorious combat, they would look tight as f$#!.

Recommended to be printed with resin.